Chappaqua, NY

We didn’t know how long we’d be welcomed to stay at Luke and Andrea’s, but we wanted to spend as much time as we could getting to know this relatively-uncontacted segment of our tribe without burdening them (and, we still needed a break), so we hoped for at least three days. Well, then there was a pool party on Sunday that we were invited to. So I guess we’ll stay until then at least. We picked a day after that to leave, but then our next refuge wouldn’t be available until the following day. So it gradually grew into 10 days that this busy family of four swelled into a family of six.

We’re so grateful that they welcomed our imposition, most of all Andrea, since, as a stay-at-home mom, it was her space and routines that we were most disrupting. We’re grateful because that intimate “live with us” style of visiting that they offered allowed us to deepen our relationship by some 20x over our previous limited or out-of-date connection.

It was wonderful to see Rett, who never wanted kids of her own, to genuinely enjoy spending time with her niece Sydney (7) and Robin (5): playing games, reading, doing crafts, or just being silly. And even for me, it was sort of a revelation that these kids are two of the four niece/nephews I have in the world. I have eight aunts/uncles-by-marriage, and while I always knew as a kid which of the couple was a blood-relative, and which came by marriage, I never really felt the difference (which is a credit to them!) I think I’d implicitly assumed that my two blood-nephews were supposed to be a much more significant relationship, but now I realize from my aunt/uncle relationships, that shouldn’t really be true.

Rett gladly getting a massage from her niece and nephew. “Why do you laugh so much, auntie?”

Mrs. Bump reads ‘Mr. Bump’ to her nephew.

In addition to running her household, working, and taking care of herself, Andrea took us on excursions to see the area, and, of course, to get the kids out of the house. One of them I had to skip in order to do more work on the bikes (replacing my Cinq Plug5 Plus charger that failed like Rett’s did a year ago was the most time-consuming of several tasks). But our trip to the Untermyer Gardens was amazing, and a chance for us to see one of those grand “between the highway and the Hudson” properties we had passed on the long ride into Chappaqua.

Rett standing atop the mosaic Medusa at Untermyer Gardens.

This “ruin garden” was a former gatehouse far down the slope on the old to Untermyer’s Grand estate.

Rett and Sydney both liked the unicorn at the “back” entrance gate, even if its horn was long-gone.

Robin, Sydney, and Rett ascending to the Temple of Love.

On another day we took the commuter train into Manhattan with Luke, and while he spent the day poking in patients’ mouths at one of the four dental offices he works out of, we walked over 12 miles exploring the city. I had previously been in New York just a single night in my life, and seen essentially none of it, so we mostly checked off the standard tourist sights.

It’s very gold, but not a great sculpture otherwise…look at those hands!

The other iconic Rockefeller Center statue is also not-quite-realistic, but in a very different way.

This is just one segment of the organ at St. Patrick’s Cathedral. If this had been my parish as a kid, I would have been a lot more interested in going to mass, because the sheer number of things in the enormous building to capture your attention are unbelievable.

After Rockefeller Center, the Cathedral, spotting the Chrysler Building, we inadvertently passed Trump Tower on our way to taste a small bite of the south end of Central Park. Then it was a long march south through Times Square and onward.

Hey, a hot-dog cart just for Rett! We went with pizza slices from one of the “99-Cent Pizza!” (“Pizza now $1.50”) shops as our traditional NY street food.

I didn’t even know we were walking in front of Trump Tower until I wondered why a delivery guy was requesting a clearance from NY cops. Well, at least now we have another presidential connection: six weeks ago we walked past Hillary Clinton’s childhood home a mile from my parents, then a dozen times passed the church where Joe Biden married his first wife since it’s just across the park from Rett’s dad’s, and finally had our second Clinton near-miss, with Luke and Andrea’s house literally being 10 houses away from the Clintons’. (oh, and Obama is both a Chicago and Hawaii guy!)

Obligatory “crowded streets of Manhattan” shot.

So much detail!

Our most-specialized (and most-Rett-driven) stop was to see Carrie Bradshaw’s apartment (and nearby Magnolia Bakery) from Sex and the City. I spotted a women-owned Rett-beer brewery’s tasting room nearby (Talea), so we got a couple of flights there. As we sat at a sidewalk table people-watching, a huge line formed at the place next door. Like a couple of Gilmore Girls, we said “I guess we should go there too, there’s a line!” (in our defense, it seemed like mostly locals rather than tourists). It turned out to be a wood-fired pizza place (L’Industrie), so when the line dwindled, Rett popped up and grabbed a few slices to bring back to our table. It was good, but we’re glad we didn’t wait in line for it.

Carrie Bradshaw returns to her Greenwich Village apartment.

Finally a view of actual Lady Liberty, after passing dozens of her likenesses in varying sizes at tourist gift shops.

Trinity Episcopal Church wasn’t on our list, but it looked so cool we had to tour it.

Not nearly as expensive as St. Pat’s, but at least as beautiful.

Finally, the 9-11 Memorial.I’m not much of a first-responder humper, but I’m not ashamed to admit I cried when reading the names of all the genuine heroes who rushed into the buildings that once stood here. The other lack-of-a-building was undergoing maintenance, so the water wasn’t falling down the walls, and honestly we thought that quieter scene was better (though in either case, it’s far and away the best memorial design I’ve ever seen).

On the other hand, the Freedom Tower is generally super-ugly, but there are a few angles where it looks sorta cool.

Stone Street, given completely over to happy hour celebrants.

Obligatory NYC steaming manhole cover.

As a Chicagoan, I’m supposed to say New York sucks, but, it doesn’t. I don’t think it was necessarily better than Chicago, but there is simply so much more of it. There are like 3 or 4 “Loops” dropped into this one island. I’m glad I got to do this surface-level overview, and for the last tour, we even took the subway back north to Grand Central Station.

The Charms’ extended family.

The most-unexpected bonus of our stay was the chance to meet Luke’s mom for the first time, aka Rett’s dad’s first wife (Luke is Rett’s half-brother). Even better, the interest was just as intense in reverse, with Heather inspecting Rett like a piece of art, looking for links to Ken in her, just as we were curious to learn the same from Heather. What we can say now knowing them both, is that they made the right choice to split 50 years ago. Or, is it purely divergence over 50 years on their own life paths that put vast distance between what was a common point? Whereas Luke (and Andrea!) and the kids feel like they have much more in common with Ken, so now it’s even more sad than we knew before that those connections remain relatively-unnurtured, due to largely to Ken’s self-enforced distance.

Because take it from us: travelling to see, hear, and touch your relatives is pretty great!

Dr. Charms takes a quick break from Baldur’s Gate III to give his sister a good review (he does the same for his kids every night after they brush their teeth, so it wasn’t too much of a friends-and-family imposition!)

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